Boyfriends & Girlfriends (Halal-Haram discussion)

[IndoPr0]

Assalamualaikum, brothers and sisters.

We all know about dating. Having girlfriend (for guy) or boyfriend (for girl).

Now, this question popped off from my mind..
Is dating considered Halal or Haram?
Please give your opinion.

[Dabbaba]

I don't think topics about halal and haram are good choices for discussion in a gaming forum. Rulings on halal and haram are not to be taken lightly because a person who gives a ruling is practically speaking on behalf of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala).

On a side note, I love how this is your first post on this forum. Way to start the fitnah. Brothers and sisters, I am begging that no one vote on this poll that is nothing but a tool for fitnah and misguidance.

[IndoPr0]

Dababba Ok im really sorry for my bad post, I'm not intending to bring misguidance here, I just wanted to find answer for this little Q popping in my head. If you don't feel this post should remain here, then you may contact one of our lovely mods to delete this thread.

[thulfiqaar]

IndoPr0 bro you can ask whatever you like. Don't worry you are not causing fitnah, I have to completely disagree with Dabbaba on that comment. I do however agree with him that if you want a proper answer, it's best to ask a qualified person, and unfortunately we haven't got any Sheikhs here at Muslimgamer.

Boyfriend, girlfriend as far as I have been told is haram, but I don't know what madhab / islamic school of thought you follow, but it is indeed best to ask somewhere else, if you want an educated answer and one that you can trust.

Posting any questions no matter what the topic is is fine here at Muslimgamer and I promise that the majority of us aren't as aggressive as Dabbaba.

Stick around and get to know us

[gengis]

IndoPr0 Salamualeykum and welcome to MG

Pretty much what thulfiqaar said. The forum is here so any question on earth can be asked, but the catch is, you may not get an answer Reason being is not that we dont want to answer it, but more so that there isnt anyone qualified to answer it here. We are all muslims and we are all gamers, not all muslims and all imams

As a generalised answer, I would say it is not allowed, as the relationship between men and women has a line of respect that needs to be shown in Islam. If your definition of Boyfriend\Girlfriend is anything more than giving salams, then there is probably a line that will be crossed at some point, so it is better to stay on the safe side of that line

So I am going to assume you are from Indonesia? Do you play PC or console games?

[SnakeXT]

Like people already said. Seek professional advice from an Imam but think about it it doesn't feel right going on a date with someone. You end up from simple greetings to chirpsin to physical contact and Im not talking about intercourse, all bad stuff pleasing the shaytaan.

[ashes999]

I'm really surprised that nobody has commented on this with ayaat and ahadith. This is not a complicated topic that you study for years to realize the right answer. This is clear-cut.

Lets go there now. I will briefly mention some of the things that are mentioned when this topic came p in various classes/lectures/conferences/whatever. The summary is, the only girlfriend you're allowed is your wife! (And of course, everything applies symmetrically to both genders).

- Allah says in the Qur'an: laa taqraba az-zina [Surah Al-Israa, verse 32] which means "do not come CLOSE to zina (a man/woman relationship outside of marriage)." Let alone actually having said relationship.

- There is a statement (I thought it was a hadith, but I can't find the source) that "whatever leads to haram is haram."

- There's a hadith that states that it is better to be stabbed with an iron rod than to touch the hand of a non-Mahram of the opposite gender (source uknown). There are many related hadith in Bukarhi and Muslim that indicate that rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) never touched the hand of a non-mahram woman -- not even in the most important event of all, MORE important than shaking the hand of your boss, which is when he took the pledge of Islam from various groups.

- There's a hadith that "when two (a man and woman) are alone, shaytan is the third." [Tirmidhi]

- One of the five high-level goals of Islam is protection of lineage. If people can have relationships with anyone, lineage becomes confused. You can see this in western countries where you have soap-opera-like tales of "who's the dad."

This is only what I can remember right this second; I'm sure there's more. It's clear that Islam doesn't allow this. Look around (if you live in a western country) and you can see all the problems that come up when people don't follow these rulings.

If you're looking for a girlfriend, look no further than marriage it's more stable, but more responsibility; and ultimately, it's THE halal option available to us.

Wallahu ta'ala a'lam.

[SnakeXT]

Quality post Ashes. Im just going to say it. I don't know the source but Im pretty sure that anything you do with your wife (or husband) Allah rewards you. Outside marriage its crystal clear its not reward but more pages of sin being written for you and woman/man you're with outside marriage.

Rewarded for getting freaky with your wife/husband. If that isn't awesome I don't know what is.

[ashes999]

Jazakumullahu khayran. Good point BTW. The sahaba were similarly surprised, and the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "if you did that out of marriage, wouldn't you be sinful for it?" => another proof lol

Source: Saheeh Muslim

[ashes999]

IndoPr0 does that answer your question clearly?

[SnakeXT]

I think Dabbaba scared him off.

[Rizwan1]

What so your not allowed to have any interaction with any females apart from family?
What about if you want to be friends with someone but not with the intention of taking it further?

[ashes999]

SnakeXT I fear that as well
@Rizwan1 that is a complicated topic for another thread -- gender interaction. Being friends, I would think, falls under "laa taqraba az-zina" whether your intention is good or not -- shaytan knows how to play us!

Wallahu a'lam.

[SnakeXT]

What so your not allowed to have any interaction with any females apart from family?
What about if you want to be friends with someone but not with the intention of taking it further?

I've got female friends on steam, facebook and at work. Nothing wrong with that. Just to clarify as to not sound hypocritical, I make it known Im married. Some sisters freak out and bolt. No problem. Some think its cool and stick around.

[Kreax]

On topic. I couldn't have said it better than it has already been said. Boyfriend/Girlfriend relationships outside of marriage is haraam.

food for thought: what really is a boyfriend/girlfriend anyway? Isn't it just an excuse to get the "benefits" of marriage without the commitments? Do men and women see one another in such a low manner that we are reduced to asking for a "test drive"? Moreover, isn't this just a manifestation of one's own impatience and lack of trust in Allah?

Interactions with females are a necessary part of life. We work together, we go to class together, they are the teachers of our children, the people who take your money at a cash register, the random strangers you meet in games and on the internet.

You can look at Musa's (Alayhi'Salaam) example. "Then one of the two women came to him walking with shyness. She said, 'Indeed, my father invites you that he may reward you for having watered for us.'..." (28:25). They did not not approach Musa flauntingly, nor did they flirt with him, rather they were upfront about what business they had with him. This is a good example if male/female interaction in Islam. Or at the very least, this was allowed because Allah subhanaha wa ta'ala would have said something about it otherwise.

tl;dr: There are lines drawn as to what is okay and not okay regarding gender interaction. One would have to ask a scholar or sheikh to get a better opinion.

Off Topic

I think this pretty much sums up this thread


Credit AhmadSA